to my bank alt

Dear bank alt,

I woke up on this morning and my mailbox was full. It was not filled with gold that you sent me so I can buy pretty clothes and cute pets, it was filled with everything I sent you, and some stuff you had acquired while adventuring. Yes, you have taken up adventuring, good for you, I hear you are tanking, great! the world needs more brave folks like you, but stop mailing me your stuff, I do not do that auction thing, I'm more important then that. Please mail your junk to that useless mage collecting dust in the Undercity. They can probably sell it for you, and that's what I plan to do with the stuff you sent back to me. Hopefully she won't start adventuring or something.

sincerely,

Zen'tika